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Paper Guide Line I. Definition of teen violence a. Physical b. Emotional c. Sexual II. Seriousness of the issue III. Effects a. Emotional i. Victim ii. Victim’s family b. Physical i. Victim ii. Victim’s Family IV. Education a. Teenagers b. Educators c. Pre-Teens V. Legislation

Reka Highsmith Mrs. Sisemore English 4- Period 2 January 7, 2009

Teen Dating Violence “Once I was having an argument with my boyfriend over which party to go to, his friends or my friends. The party that his friends were throwing didn't sound like much fun to me and he happened to not like any of the people who were going to be at the party that I wanted to go to. So In the end he decided we should go to different parties. I would go to the party that my friends were throwing and he would go to the party that his friends would be throwing" “I finally got to the party and I decided I am going to have fun. I hadn't had a night out without him being right there beside me in months. I drank one too many beers than I should have and the next thing I knew my boyfriend was at the same party I was."“He had shown up with a bat and was ready to take me home no matter if I wanted to go or not. Of course, I didn't want to leave. Therefore I sat in the driveway and he dragged me by my arms through the grass all the way to his Ford F-250. He tried talking to me, but I didn't want to hear it. Subsequently he shoved me into his truck and made me listen to him ramble on and on. His friend that had came with him was there watching all of this and tried to get him to calm down but he wasn't having it. Eventually, I just stopped fighting with him and he took me home. The next morning he acted like last night had never happened (Chloe*). Even though majority of teen girls will experience teen dating violence, only three percent of them report this to an adult. Teen dating violence happens to everyone; it can occur in long term serious relationships or casual dating situations and about one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. Dating violence among teenagers must stop and in order to reduce the problem of relationship violence, and the associated costs to the victims and their families, researchers and educators must help today’s teenagers learn what it is and how to prevent it, develop viable prevention models that target youth before they start dating and enact legislation to fight teen dating violence. “Teen dating violence or relationship abuse is a pattern of over controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or a boyfriend (Women's law).” Teen dating Violence can occur in serious long-term relationships as well as it can in less serious short term relationships. In fact violence among teenagers who are dating is something that is being experienced more and more often. The University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), surveyed approximately 3,500 girls were asked if they had experienced abusive relationships 2,500 answered they had been in emotionally abusive relationships, 650 girls responded and said that it was physical abuse they had experienced, but 300 said that they were in sexually abusive relationships. This survey was also done on boys too. They questioned 3,500 boys their reply was 740 emotional abuse, 350 physical abuse and 280sexual abuse. Most teenagers do not turn to any authority figure to tell them about the abuse their undergoing. In one study, from thirty to fifty percent of female high school students reported having already experience teen dating violence (acadv). Sexual abuse or better known as "date rape" is something that is tremendously common. “One in four teen girls who have been in a relationships reveal that they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse (teens against abuse). “Sexual abuse is considered any kind of unwanted sexual advance such as: unwelcome sexual comments, from kissing to sexual intercourse or oral sex. “Sexual abuse actually encompasses sexual assault, rape, physical assault and battery, and verbal and emotional abuse (safe youth). Chloe is a seventeen-year-old girl who has been sexually abused by her ex boyfriend. She let me sit down and talk to her about her abusive relationship that she was recently in for eight and a half months. Chloe said, "He would make me have sex with him no matter what. I remember once I was crying so hard and telling him that I didn't want to have sex. He didn't care, he still wanted to so I stopped crying and we started having sex. I started crying, but he just kept going." “Nearly eighty percent of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser (teens against abuse).” Chloe said, "I would start off and said no (to having sex), but after a while it just feels like what's the point he will still do it." “50 percent of high school boys and 42 percent of girls said there were times when it was acceptable for a male to hold a female down and physically force her to engage in intercourse (k-state).” Forcing someone to have sex, emotionally degrading them in private, but acting charming in public, teasing, threats, betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional abuse. Teen dating violence can happen in any form whether it’s in person or over the phone. In fact there was a recent New York Times Article written and in it a Dr. Elizabeth Miller “cited a survey that was done last year of children ages eleven to fourteen by Liz Claiborne Inc., a clothing company retailer that finances teenage dating research, in which a quarter of the one thousand respondents said they had been called names, harassed or ridiculed by their romantic partner by phone call or text message often between midnight and five in the morning when their parents were sleeping (nytimes).” A lot of partners will text their significant others and ask them a series of questions like, where are you, who are you with, and what are you doing?` The love is not abuse organization said that thirty percent of teens say they are text messages ten, twenty, thirty times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they’re doing or who they’re with. Chloe said "...he used to say that he was the only one who cared about me; even my parents didn't care about me." This is a perfect example of emotional abuse most people endure. “Emotional abuse is typically alternated with degradations of love and statements that they will change, providing a "hook" to keep the partner in the relationship (Abusive Relationships’).” Sometimes the abuser will even buy things for their victims to get them back when they break up. Chloe* said," he would get me cards, buy me candy and teddy bears and make promises to be better. One time he even threatened to commit suicide. “Eighty percent of teens regard verbal abuse as a "serious issue" for their age group (love is not abuse).” “Forty percent of teenage girls ages fourteen to seventeen say they know someone their age that has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend (acadv).” Chloe*, the seventeen year old girl that I have spoken with several times on teen dating violence said, "he never hit me, but he would shove me into walls and push me down. One time we were drinking and we got in this huge fight and he actually just picked me up off the ground and dropped me on my head." Whether it’s being shoved, punched, getting hit playfully, unwanted tickling, and any unwanted hugging, physical abuse is any time anyone touches you when it’s unwanted. “The most depressing thing is that one in three teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner (teens against abuse).” Physical abuse is what people generally think about when people talk about relationship abuse. It is one of the more common types of abuse in an abusive relationship. If truth be told girls are actually the ones that are more likely cause physical abuse. “A study shows that in one hundred domestic violence situations, approximately forty cases involve violence by women against men (teens against abuse).” Also boys have reported that twenty-seven percent of girls started violence in their relationship (teens against abuse). Excessive jealously, continually criticizing, emotionally degrading you in private but acting charming in public, hitting you, forcing you to perform any sexual act is something that every women will experience. "One in four women will be in a abusive relationship in their lifetime will experience (teens against abuse)."
 * all names in this research paper have been changed.

Teen dating violence is a serious issue and the sad thing is that majority of teens in America don't realize the seriousness of this issue. The fact of the matter is that One in four women will be in a abusive relationship in their lifetime will experience (teens against abuse). Its also just not violence against women. "Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch or kick (abanet). Although it has been show that boys do injure girls more severely and frequently (abanet). " The thing about teenage dating violence is that only about 3 percent of teens decide to report dating violence to some type of authority. The reality of it is that most of these teenagers don't even realize their being abused. Some of the these girls just think oh... I'm supposed to have sex with him even if I don't want to he wants it and i want to make him happy. For the duration of my interview with Chloe* I brought this matter up to her. She said "Yes, I did feel like I had to have sex with him especially when he would really mad about me not wanting to (have sex). Some people assume that rape happens by: a) someone you don't know b) in a unknown unsafe place. Truth be told date rape is more likely to happen than rape. Another detail is "6 out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or a friend or relative's home, not in a dark alley (safenetwork)." The victims of dating violence experience being threatened, criticized and humiliated by their supposed "better half." They say that
 * all names in this research paper have been changed.

